Life is blank.....

I feel my role in life is of a catalyst in other peoples' life only.....I resolve their problems or atleast relief them....they become very happy I became an essential part of their life....but.......for a brief moment like the catalyst.......process is not complete without them but catalysts are not the process.....they are niether the inputs nor the outputs.......they are just needed to complete the process....nothing else.....sometimes I am paid off in terms of words like thanx and sometimes not even that.......In my own existance I am nothing.....It is said one should be grateful that one is the one who is helping ohers and not in the need of help. But such people also atleast need sometimes a support to rest for a while......

I am not ungrateful to HIM.....its just that it becomes difficult sometimes.......how rightly it is said that when man is dying of thirst the only thing he can think of is water.....and when he gets the first drop of water his mind begin to think of other things he doesnt have........when we begin to think too much then HE gaves us the thirst back to understand the importance of even those drops of water and stop crying and begging for other things........

Mind know all this thing......the importance of water thank HIM of that but why this restlessness.....why this aching......what is the need.......what is missing.....what is the fear??? We just cant keep on thinking about the water always......then what to do???

Man is the most amazing and complex of all his creations......I am afraid of myself sometimes.....Its like I came out of myself and stand infront of me, totally different person somone I dont know of.....someone I cant understand.... Life is blank at this moment !!!! dont know where it is going........